(I’m not sure how I feel about the “unravelling” part these days, tbh)

Image source: my very own camera roll

You see, I would quite like it all, that’s the overriding thing about me — I really would quite like to have it all, as all the ball-busting ceiling-smashing shoulder-padded business women of the 1980s promised me I could; I’d like to trip-trap-trip between glossy offices in my patent heels…

Mainly, I learned never to try to predict my own feelings

We’d been married for two years and we were away on a mini-break, which was a rare thing in those days because we had very little money. Also, we’d taken our children with us, because they were very small, so it wasn’t exactly a romantic mini-break. But still. We were…

There is no way to tell an abusive man from his looks alone

Over the past couple of weeks, it has become fairly clear that the Armie Hammer abuse rumors — which include screenshots of his talk of cannibalism fantasies and details of him carving his initials into a woman’s genitalia with a knife — are going absolutely nowhere. …

Can’t think clearly? That’s exactly what they want

Photo by Engin Akyurt from Pexels

When I was living alone for the summer in which I left my husband (after my messy, all-consuming, entirely regrettable affair), I remained in touch — at first — with my extramarital lover.

This is how that went.

On the night that our affair was discovered, he held my hands…

How “Maid” on Netflix contains an important truth about domestic abuse

“Maid” — Netflix 2021. Image source: tvinsider.com

The first time I left my first husband, I didn’t go very far at all. I didn’t go for very long, either. I had no money and also, I didn’t really want to go. I was nineteen years old, my baby was one year old, and I’d shaped my whole…

But that’s ok.

Photo by Anastasia Mihalkova on Unsplash


It is such a beautiful month, isn’t it? It used to be my absolute favorite. I love so many things about it. I love the way the light begins to soften at the edges, becoming ever gentler at each end of the day, abandoning the throbbing white glare of…

Why would I care one way or another, though?

Photo by Luke Pamer on Unsplash

I knew, even as I heard the news, that it shouldn’t matter. That it didn’t matter.

Because I didn’t want him, that’s the thing. I hadn’t wanted him for a long time. I had ended my affair with him. I had my eyes opened to his toxicity and his narcissism…

We both know it’s over, but somehow we’re still here

One weird thing about the pandemic and its year of various tiers of badly-managed lockdowns is that some of the friends who once lurked in the background of Facebook suddenly became very much front-and-center. Did you notice?

One minute they existed only peripherally, burbling on every few days about how…

I didn’t even notice at first

Photo by Janko Ferlic via Unsplash

Life moved fast when I met my husband. We both were very young and I already had a little girl. Within a year of our first date, we had bought a house together. …

Because there’s one very important difference in the law

Britney doesn’t want her dad to be in charge of her finances any more. Image source: Sky News

I am a practitioner, in the UK, of what the Americans call “elder law”. (Well, Saul Goodman in Better Call Saul called it elder law, anyway, so let’s go with that). And what that means is that I am regularly involved in helping people to make applications to the Court…

Em Unravelling

Lover of words, books, hiking, nature and big skies. Running is my favourite thing (after the words & the books). As feisty as I need to be. theunravelling.net

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